Diary of a Blood Ray - March 1st, 2005

In her book, California Dreamin’, Michelle Phillips tells a (most likely apophrycal) story about the home she and John shared. There was a huge chandelier in the foyer and the pair knew they’d never continually change the bulbs that would burn out. I’m not exactly sure why they wouldn’t change the bulbs - probably something to do with too much weed or LSD. Michelle prophesized that when the last bulb in the chandelier burned out their marriage would be over. In 1969 or 1970 the last bulb burned out and, true to the prophecy, the marriage was over shortly thereafter.

When Asher returned from the Grand Canyon in January, he presented me with a bracelet he had bought me. I’m sure it didn’t cost much, but it was a sweet gesture, and I loved it. I put it on when he gave it to me, and I continued to wear it after we broke up. I didn’t even think much of it, it was just there. Occasionally I’d notice it on my left wrist, and I’d think of him.

This morning, while I was at work, the bracelet shattered into pieces. One moment it was wrapped around my arm, and the next it was flying all over my desk. I picked up the pieces a put them safely in my coat. I don’t think that it can be repaired, but I took it home and put it in a box. It just doesn’t seem right to throw it away.

When I came home from work today, I found I had an email from Asher. He was responding to one I sent him about a week ago, in which I told him that I just wanted to make sure he was okay, and that I would always be here if he needed me. His response was short, but he said that he was doing well. He told me he was glad that I written him. He said it gave him closure.

The final bulb in the chandelier is out. It’s a good thing I’ve never been much of a fan of overhead lighting.